Pressing On

My good friend Margaret sent me a book titled From Grief to Glory (http://www.grieftoglory.com/) and I am finding it such a blessing. Apparently Margaret heard about it in one of her classes at Westminster. It was written by a man who lost an infant and subsequently researched historical Christians who had suffered similarly. I guess it should not be surprising that in the past infant death was common because of the size of families and lack of medical care. The book is a compilation of letters, poems and biographical accounts of these individuals. It has been comforting for me to hear how the Lord brought many other Christians through this type of loss - John Calvin, John Bunyan, Martin Luther, Fredrick Douglas, and many others. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has experienced the loss of a child (whether their own or that of a close friend or family member).

Of all the books I've been given lately it has been the most helpful by far (thanks Margaret!). Reading the accounts of these fellow believers who were also bereaved parents has been such a comfort. I feel like these individuals have come alongside of me and shown that there is a way to move forward. At the beginning of the book the author quotes Hugh Latimer, an English reformer from the 16th century: 'Set before you that though the weather is stormy and foul, yet you do not go alone; many others pass by the same path; their company might cause you to be the more courageous and cheerful.' I've certainly found those words to be true. Their accounts have given me the strength to press on. The human side of me would naturally want to grieve Rylan indefinitely. Just give up on life and walk in sorrow forever in allegiance to my beloved son who is gone. But I realized that my allegiance to Christ (who ordains all things in my life including the passing of my son and the continuance of my life) must overrule. It has become a conscious choice to press on despite wanting to lay down in the grave (so to speak) with my son. I don't know if that makes sense. It is a choice to say with Job "Though he slay me, yet will I praise him." Job 13:15

In one chapter the author quotes from John Bunyan's The Pilgrim's Progress. The Pilgrim's Progress contains many subtle parallels to John's own life (which included losing a child) so it is possible this section was reflective of his loss: "These troubles and distress that you go through in these waters are no sign that God has forsaken you; but they are sent to test you, to see whether you will recall that goodness, which up to now, you have received from Him and if you will live upon Him in your distresses. Be cheerful, Jesus Christ makes you whole." Then the main character, Christian, cries out, 'O! I see Him again, and He tells me, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.'"

I also want to share one of the many beautiful poems from the book. It was written by Horatius Bonar who was a 19th centry Scottish minister. He and his wife lost five children in successive bereavements.

He was the music of our home,

A day that knew no night

The fragrance of our garden bower,

A thing all smiles and light.

Above the couch we bent and prayed

In the half-lighted room,

As the bright hues of infant life

Sank slowly into gloom.

The form remained; but there was now

No soul our love to share;

Farewell, with weeping hearts, we said,

Child of our love and care.

But years are moving quickly past,

And time will soon be o'er;

Death shall be swallowed up in life

On the immortal shore.

Then shall we clasp that hand once more,

And smooth that golden hair;

Then shall we kiss those lips again,

When we shall meet him there.